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 Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 5:45 pm
Today my roommate, her cousin, and I had a very intense discussion on whether or not it is sin to live with somebody before marriage. I know what I personally believe about the issue, but I'm curious to know what all of you think.
Also, please be nice. If you don't agree with someone's view, just state the reasons why you disagree without any condescenion. If they refuse to see your point, then let it go.
[Edit] Also, I meant this to be a discussion. Please don't just state your opinion and run. I want to hear why you think the way you do. (:
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 6:49 pm
I'm neutral on the issue. neutral
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 6:56 pm
mike_johnson I'm neutral on the issue. neutral How so?
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:47 pm
Any way that we throw ourselves into temptation's path is a dangerous way to go. If you live with someone before marriage, it will be very difficult to avoid adultery.
I don't think it is a sin any more than any other tempting behavior, but why would you want to tempt yourself, not to mention your partner? If you love someone, you want them to go to heaven; if adultery is a sin, you're not just hurting yourself, you're hurting him or her.
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 1:19 am
I agree with Lymelady.
And besides, God calls us to avoid temptations.
In 1 Thessalonians 5:22, it says to abstain from the appearance of evil. Other translations say to abstain from every form of evil.
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 7:15 am
Let's say the male and female weren't a couple and were strong enough in their faith to not even want to have sex with each other. Not everyone is all that sexual. What would you think, then? Personally, I still think it's wrong.
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 8:26 am
Okay, you asked for opinions, so here they are.
If a man and a woman want to live together before marriage, I personally have no problems with it ... but neither do I encourage it. It's good to know what you're getting into (as in, how the other person lives), but it can raise eyebrows in the more spiritual circles.
Sleeping (repeat: sleeping) together ... I'm against that, if only because we're at our low points, defensively speaking, when we're half-awake. It wouldn't be hard for one person who's less moral to take advantage of the other's weakness. Might not even be planned. So, yeah, best to avoid the situation. But, I realize, some couples can pull it off. And I admit publicly here, Meadow and I were one of those couples who pulled it off. Yes, I'm admitting to my past here ... but let the record show, nothing inappropriate happened. We were sorely tempted a time or two, but ...
Sex ... well, duh, need you even ask?
Living together and not a couple ... well, if they're not a couple, I don't imagine they'll be in the same bed, let alone in each other's pants. Though they very easily might; I've known a couple of people like that. But I also know a certain lady who has a man living with her ... he pays rent for her guest bedroom. They're not a couple, and not likely to become one, even though they're friends. To that, I can only say that I hope they don't become a couple (as that would cause temptation to treble), but for now ... if they're okay with it, and they're not sinning in the eyes of God, who am I to judge?
Now, how some churches might view the whole thing ... well, some folks are against everything. So some people will look askance on any unwed couple living under the same roof, no matter how innocent it may be. I don't worry so much about what others think is sin, as what causes others to sin. That is, if my confession in the "sleeping together" paragraph causes two people to hop in bed for what they think is something innocent, but they end up busting bedsprings ... that's my fault. If someone at the local Baptist church just gives me the evil eye, well ... meh.
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 9:53 am
Takahashi_Natsumi Let's say the male and female weren't a couple and were strong enough in their faith to not even want to have sex with each other. Not everyone is all that sexual. What would you think, then? Personally, I still think it's wrong. I'm actually living with a guy right now. Well, a guy and a girl. My best friend and I share a room, he's a very good friend and in the other room. They're dating which I wouldn't really want to put myself in that situation, but I guess I make it a little difficult to do anything sinful. Mostly it's because I can't afford to pay rent on my own. It's kind of convenient though, there's no way I'd be able to do some of the heavy lifting that household chores require, and there's no temptation there for me. It's also kind of comforting to have a man in the house in case there's a break in. If it was a situation where I'd be tempted into anything unwholesome, I'd be more wary. For example, I had the opportunity to be roommates with a couple of female friends, but...their lifestyles are such that I don't want to be pulled in. They go out clubbing, get drunk, and hook up with strange men. They come home with stories about how much fun it is, and it does sound like fun to go out every night and party. I don't want to get sucked into that lifestyle, it wasn't even an option for me.
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 1:30 pm
Dragonbait Okay, you asked for opinions, so here they are. If a man and a woman want to live together before marriage, I personally have no problems with it ... but neither do I encourage it. It's good to know what you're getting into (as in, how the other person lives), but it can raise eyebrows in the more spiritual circles. Sleeping (repeat: sleeping) together ... I'm against that, if only because we're at our low points, defensively speaking, when we're half-awake. It wouldn't be hard for one person who's less moral to take advantage of the other's weakness. Might not even be planned. So, yeah, best to avoid the situation. But, I realize, some couples can pull it off. And I admit publicly here, Meadow and I were one of those couples who pulled it off. Yes, I'm admitting to my past here ... but let the record show, nothing inappropriate happened. We were sorely tempted a time or two, but ... Sex ... well, duh, need you even ask? Living together and not a couple ... well, if they're not a couple, I don't imagine they'll be in the same bed, let alone in each other's pants. Though they very easily might; I've known a couple of people like that. But I also know a certain lady who has a man living with her ... he pays rent for her guest bedroom. They're not a couple, and not likely to become one, even though they're friends. To that, I can only say that I hope they don't become a couple (as that would cause temptation to treble), but for now ... if they're okay with it, and they're not sinning in the eyes of God, who am I to judge? Now, how some churches might view the whole thing ... well, some folks are against everything. So some people will look askance on any unwed couple living under the same roof, no matter how innocent it may be. I don't worry so much about what others think is sin, as what causes others to sin. That is, if my confession in the "sleeping together" paragraph causes two people to hop in bed for what they think is something innocent, but they end up busting bedsprings ... that's my fault. If someone at the local Baptist church just gives me the evil eye, well ... meh. However, what if they proclaim to be Christians?
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 1:33 pm
In the days of the old pagans, sex was considered marriage. It's unity in a sense. If she truly loves him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him, I see no problem with them having sexual relations. I mean face it, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Going into marriages thinking that you love someone is not good. Neither is waiting to have sex, is a good thing.
As my friend once told me, there is a difference to making a sex and just sheer...well you get the picture. If you make "love" then you trust that other person and want to be with that person. Sex is the unifying factor in relationships.
You have to realize that in those days, people though having sexual relations before marriage was done by prostitutes. Falling in love with someone before having an arraigned marriage was unheard of in those times and it was more than likely taboo. You have to realize that cultures and taboos change over time. Translations of the Bible also change over time. Sex is different than what it is now. Sex is incorporated into what we feel is love.
What I want to know, is if God truly said that having sex before marriage is a sin, then what does he think about commonlaw marriages? neutral Commonlaw marriages are another thing that was unheard of during the time the Bible was written. You have to consider the time it was written and who it is really referring to.
Honestly I don't see a problem with it. Sleeping together can be sleeping in one bed and just cuddling? Is cuddling even wrong?
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 1:41 pm
You don't think God took those things into consideration when his word was written? You must think very little of our God. (no offense intended ^^ )
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 1:49 pm
Takahashi_Natsumi You don't think God took those things into consideration when his word was written? You must think very little of God. (no offense intended ^^ ) We have to remember that his word was written down by humans, interpreted by humans and translated by humans. Humans in the time of Jesus, and King James had a limited concept of what love is, or wouldn't understand commonlaw marriage. Or even understand that trust is included in love. If they saw people living together without being married, they would have a fit. You think too highly of humanity. And saying no offense, doesn't make it less offensive. In fact you probably meant that to offend me. neutral
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 1:49 pm
-Tsukiyo-Moon Maiden In the days of the old pagans, sex was considered marriage. It's unity in a sense. If she truly loves him and wants to spend the rest of her life with him, I see no problem with them having sexual relations. I mean face it, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Going into marriages thinking that you love someone is not good. Neither is waiting to have sex, is a good thing. As my friend once told me, there is a difference to making a sex and just sheer...well you get the picture. If you make "love" then you trust that other person and want to be with that person. Sex is the unifying factor in relationships. You have to realize that in those days, people though having sexual relations before marriage was done by prostitutes. Falling in love with someone before having an arraigned marriage was unheard of in those times and it was more than likely taboo. You have to realize that cultures and taboos change over time. Translations of the Bible also change over time. Sex is different than what it is now. Sex is incorporated into what we feel is love. What I want to know, is if God truly said that having sex before marriage is a sin, then what does he think about commonlaw marriages? neutral Commonlaw marriages are another thing that was unheard of during the time the Bible was written. You have to consider the time it was written and who it is really referring to. Honestly I don't see a problem with it. Sleeping together can be sleeping in one bed and just cuddling? Is cuddling even wrong? Some of the things you mention depend on the strength of you faith; some are absolutely wrong; however, if you're ever in doubt, then don't. I'll have to find the verse that says that.
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 2:03 pm
I have to agree, you are absolutely wrong.
This is directed to Christians, nothing about this applies to non-Believers.
Sex before marriage is fornication. In the Word, in many different places, it warns us to avoid sexual immorality: Adultery, fornication, homosexuality, and the like. Among many other sins. One is no greater than the other, they are all sins to God. Besides, we're not talking about pagans here, we're talking about Christians.
Waiting before marriage is a great thing, actually. It should just be shared with that one person in a sacred covenant of marriage between man and woman.
Common law marriages go against His Word, and His law is above the law of man.
God did have men write down His Word, but they were inspired by the Holy Spirit. God's law still applies, just like sin is still sin. God promised to preserve His Word and so He has.
If you don't see a problem, then you're saying God is wrong about the matter.
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 2:17 pm
Xiterrose I have to agree, you are absolutely wrong. This is directed to Christians, nothing about this applies to non-Believers. Sex before marriage is fornication. In the Word, in many different places, it warns us to avoid sexual immorality: Adultery, fornication, homosexuality, and the like. Among many other sins. One is no greater than the other, they are all sins to God. Besides, we're not talking about pagans here, we're talking about Christians. Waiting before marriage is a great thing, actually. It should just be shared with that one person in a sacred covenant of marriage between man and woman. Common law marriages go against His Word, and His law is above the law of man. God did have men write down His Word, but they were inspired by the Holy Spirit. God's law still applies, just like sin is still sin. God promised to preserve His Word and so He has. If you don't see a problem, then you're saying God is wrong about the matter. Really? Have you read the Original Bible? Or are you just saying that what God says is right or wrong from reading the English texts? neutral I was using HISTORY to determine that marriage is a concept older than Christianity. Therefore Marriage is not a solely Christian concept nor should it be considered as such.
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