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 Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:52 pm
Have a few jokes you want to share? Whether they're story jokes, funny riddles, or one-line jokes, you're free to post them here.
Rules:
-Keep it PG13
-No racist, sexist, or offensive jokes
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Posted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:53 pm
A little boy stops in front of a church with his bike and he sees the priest come out. The priest says "Come inside, I want to show you something". The little boy says to the priest, "But somebody will steal my bike". The priest says to him "Don't worry, the Holy Spirit will watch it".
So the little boy goes inside and the priest says, "Let me show you how to do the sign of the cross. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Now you try it". So the boy says, "In the name of the Father and the Son, Amen". The priest says, "What happened to the Holy Spirit?" The boy replied "He's outside watching my bike".
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Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:37 am
LOL! That's a good one XD
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:10 am
It's not a joke, but I thought it was funny!
Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:11 am
The snail, goes into a Car dealership he asks the salesmen if they have any big balck sports cars? The sales men says yes. The snail says, could you please put a big S on the front, a Big S on the side, and a big S on the lisence plate. The salesmen says why? The snail says it's personal I don't want to tell you. SO he comes back in a week. With a Big S on the front, a Big S on the side, and a Big S on the lisence plate. The salesmen asks the mechanic I wonder why he wanted the Big S? The mechanic says I don't know but look at that S-car-go
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 5:14 am
A redneck family goes to the mall. They have no idea of the city. The father sees an elevator. He and his family are fascinated, so they watch as an old lady goes up to the elevator,, pushes the button and walks inside. Thirty seconds later, a yung beautiful blond lady comes out. The father says, "I'm going back home and getting Grandma."
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ThePhoenixUnchained Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 9:48 pm
I'm not sure what this would be called, but it's funny...PS, ther are two people talking::
"Whatchya doin'?"
"Eatin' chocolate."
"Where'd ya get it?"
"The doggy dropped it."
"Where's the doggy?"
"Behind the door."
"What's he doin'?"
"Makin' more."
lolz
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Posted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:25 pm
EWWW COOKIE xD
That is gross. LOL.
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