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 Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:30 pm
Post your poems here and get constructive criticism and/or other feedback.
Rules:
1: No flaming, people or poems.
2: No unrelated posts.
3: Be helpful.
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:35 pm
I'll get things started I guess:
My Love
I gave away my love today,
Someone else has won his heart.
Knew this day was coming,
From the very start.
I gave away my love today,
Hardest thing I had to do.
Last words he said to me,
Were "I love you too."
I gave away my love today,
With a teardrop in my eye.
For he had no time to,
Let me say good-bye.
I gave away my love today,
No smile was on my face.
Just a frown hidden through,
Yards and yards of lace.
I gave away my love today,
A single rose in his hand.
The good-bye rose he bought,
At the corner stand.
I gave away my love today,
He left me without a sound.
As I watched him slowly,
Lowered in the ground.
What do you think?
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N I N J A - M I L F Captain
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 2:05 am
Wow, really nice, quite moving 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 3:27 am
Ellessar Wow, really nice, quite moving 3nodding Thanks, I'm glad someone likes it.
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:33 am
He is my life, my love
My sunrise and sunset
My night and day
My snow and rain
He is the best part of me and the worst
He is everything i love and everything i hate
We are not alike...but the sad truth is we are
Were would i be with out him, were would he be without me
Do we feel the same about each otheror is it all a dreami just have
If this is what love feels like i dont ever want to love again
Thats if i can love again
If love is hate does that mean hate is love
If i hate him will he love me
I cant risk that cuz if i do ill lose him forever
i wrote this back in jan when me and my ex had a fight i never wanted to show anyone but some ppl i know said it was to good to keep to my self
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 8:47 am
Black Hair Goddess He is my life, my love My sunrise and sunset My night and day My snow and rain He is the best part of me and the worst He is everything i love and everything i hate We are not alike...but the sad truth is we are Were would i be with out him, were would he be without me Do we feel the same about each otheror is it all a dreami just have If this is what love feels like i dont ever want to love again Thats if i can love again If love is hate does that mean hate is love If i hate him will he love me I cant risk that cuz if i do ill lose him forever i wrote this back in jan when me and my ex had a fight i never wanted to show anyone but some ppl i know said it was to good to keep to my self Really nice 3nodding . And I'm glad you can love again hunny biggrin heart
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N I N J A - M I L F Captain
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 12:52 pm
i hear the woman next door screaming at the kids , again , i hear a sob of the child as the razor hot iron hits its fragile skin
i hear him cry for her to stop , the b***h is well into it now , shes getting a thrill from the pain hes feeling . in my mind i pictured her eyes mad ands ravonus for his sob of merci ,what is meri ? what is merci now ?
ii remember when i was there in his shoes , what the b***h used to do to me. i scream at her , she cant hear , then again no one can hear the past if they dont want they just block it out , just like my mother , i became a fragement of her imagination , like i never existed, i was never there , my blood on the carpet was a red wine stain to her
i hear her get out her knife , my brothers hand on the hob , the stench of burning flesh filled her head , she needed sweet release , i hear her say to him " come her darling i have asuprise for you " foolish he went to her , thinking the b***h loved him , she wrapped her arms around him , i hear him say that he loves him , the pearl tears fell down my face ,as he killed my brother
he will join me , she will just cary on in this state for ever , now she has killed both of us
my name was katie , i was 15 , i will ever be 15 , never age in this state of heaven .
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 1:11 pm
@ Black Hair Goddess: That was wonderful, I'm glad you shared it. I think most people can relate to it.
@ sprags: Wow... I don't know what else to say.
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:47 pm
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:50 pm
BUMP
wow i wish there was someone here to talk to !!
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 11:02 pm
small fry that was great! I'm glad you have a father who cares so much about you.
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 1:20 am
voiceofangels small fry that was great! I'm glad you have a father who cares so much about you. Euh... knowing her father and what he did to her... he isn't so great at all.
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N I N J A - M I L F Captain
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 1:55 am
Ellessar voiceofangels small fry that was great! I'm glad you have a father who cares so much about you. Euh... knowing her father and what he did to her... he isn't so great at all. But he's still there and he loves her, that makes him a great father.
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 2:04 am
voiceofangels Ellessar voiceofangels small fry that was great! I'm glad you have a father who cares so much about you. Euh... knowing her father and what he did to her... he isn't so great at all. But he's still there and he loves her, that makes him a great father. In all honesty, and no offense small fry, but he's a complete a**.
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N I N J A - M I L F Captain
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 9:14 am
Ellessar voiceofangels Ellessar voiceofangels small fry that was great! I'm glad you have a father who cares so much about you. Euh... knowing her father and what he did to her... he isn't so great at all. But he's still there and he loves her, that makes him a great father. In all honesty, and no offense small fry, but he's a complete a**. yeah i know he is!
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Reply
