|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2006 11:07 am
On tuesday, I started school. My load isn't too bad, at the moment, but I just decided to drop a class that was making it far to hard.
My acting professor informed us if we weren't willing to leave another class early to get there on time, we weren't really serioius about the class. The class also went over by 10 minutes, due to him not knowing how long the class was supposed to be, and people asking the same stupid question over and over again. I was 20 minutes late for work.
I'm working nearly every day. I don't get to go home between school and work, and my bosses can't work around my school schedule.
I've been going since last friday without a break. Without a single minute to catch my breath. My mother responds with "Welcome to the real world." I'm out of the house 14 hours a day, working or at school. If this is the real world, kill me now.
I'm planning a wedding. My parents are pissed off about it. My mother told me straight out she thinks I'm making a mistake, despite the fact that I have told them repeatedly that the reason I'm marrying him is because God told me to. (And it's not as crazy as it sounds. Really.) My father says they believe that I believe that I got a message from on high, but they are having trouble because they know how easy it is to make up the answer you want. They don't think I'm mature enough to get married, and they want me to "compromise" on wedding plans by doing everything their way.
I'm buried in stress, I don't have a minute to rest. I've dropped the acting class, which gives me a little breathing room, and more days I can potentially work, but that's not enough. I'm terrified of telling my parents, because I'm sure they'll take this as a sign that I'm immature. They're trying to live my life for me, and they're upset that I'm not letting them this time.
Prayers, positive energy, good thoughts. Breathing room. That's all I ask for.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 12:36 am
I am sooooo praying.
heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2006 1:34 am
wow...so that's what you were typing, eh? sweatdrop
I've been praying for you babe, and remember, anytime you need a little backup...call me. I'll be there to support you, I'll even feed you lines if need be wink
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 8:12 am
UPDATE:
This morning, my parents ganged up on me. Everything I was afraid of happened. I'm a quitter. By quitting this course, I'm "proving" that I'm not mature enough to get married. Dropping this course shows I'm not commited to my major, and it's a sign that I'm changing majors right now, though I should "give it more than a week before quitting."
I'm supposed to be this stressed, if I'm serious about being an adult. It's normal for me to cry myself to sleep every night, and I'm being immature and childish to want one day off to see my fiance. Stress relief isn't something I should have. I'm showing that I'm not ready to be an adult, because I'm quitting as soon as things get hard.
I told them that they haven't been supporting me. Apparently, telling me that I'm not mature enough to get married, and that they don't want me to get married, yelling at me for nothing, telling me how childish and immature I am etc, etc, are all being supportive. They're being "as supportive as they can be", ya know, considering how immature I am.
I wanted so badly to tell them, they're right. It is too hard, and I am quitting...their family. Eloping is sounding better and better. Hell, I'm considering dropping out of school, since they're so sure I'm not capable of dealing with it. The worst part is, I'm starting to think about killing myself again. It would be easier.
You know why they're doing this? They "love" me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 12:31 am
Smack her parents for me, someone.
Hey, you have to sympathize with the motivations of their actions...they want you to be sucessfull and happy in a long term way.
their actions do not apprently match their motivations. They still love you. The way they manafest it right now isn't healthy though.
I am praying, still.
and remember: James 2 says that anyone who lacks wisdom should ask God, for He gives in abundance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 6:01 am
I was tempted tp smack her mother yesterday, though I felt it more important to tend to my fiancee, who was falling apart in my arms.
From what I observed yesterday, they disregard her sentances before she finishes them, her mother constantly rolls her eyes, and even walked out and told her she was being ridiculous when Ro mentioned how she felt she couldn't communicate with them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 6:48 am
Well, I talked w/ my big bro Kai last night, and he had some interesting points. I'll post that conversation once I talk to a couple of people about it, and get my thoughts into a coherent order.
Love? You're the only reason I didn't break down even worse. Thank you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
