I wish I was better to you then and now. I really want and wanted to be the one for you. I love you so much then and now. I care so much about you and hope nothing bad ever happens to you. I know you hate me but I don’t hate you. I have lied to you and have threatened you but I’m not that person anymore. I have difficulty processing my emotions, cheating, lying and gas lighting but I can control my reactions if you just asked. I’m sorry for being me the person you don’t want and are embarrassed of the person you can’t trust. If I could be anyone you loved I would but wishes don’t come true. I keep messing up but I’m not trying to and I’m not trying to hurt you I have been trying to show you how much I care. Sorry for causing you so much pain all the time.